What is your Love Language?

by - February 14, 2020


I love Valentine’s Day probably more than I should as a single lady. I’m a hopeless romantic and Valentine’s day is all about showing your appreciation and love for someone. Any excuse to demonstrate this and to celebrate something, I’m always up for it. I love the story behind Valentine’s day too and how the priest wrote letters to the jailer’s daughter signing it ‘Love, your Valentine’. This year got me thinking about love languages, what they mean and what mine is.

In 1992, Gary Chapman wrote a book called The Five Love Languages: How To Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate. It outlines five ways in how people express and experience love between romantic partners. I, personally, think this works a little in how we express love and gratitude to family members and friends as well. It's how we interact with one another.

The five languages are (according to 5lovelanguages.com):
- Receiving Gifts: “A gift says, ‘he was thinking about me’"
- Quality Time: “Giving your spouse your undivided attention.”
- Words of Affirmation: “Using words to build up the other person.”
- Acts of Service: “Doing something for your spouse that you know they would like. Such as cooking a meal, washing dishes, vacuuming floors etc.”
- Physical Touch: “Holding hands, hugging, sexual intercourse, are all expressions of love.”

According to Chapman, we have a primary love language that speaks more deeply to us and a secondary love language. If you’re not sure what your love language is, there are plenty of quizzes and tests online you can take for free. But it's ultimately about which one you can relate to the most.


My primary love language is Acts of Service with my second language as Physical Touch. I think it’s important to demonstrate your love and gratitude through doing nice things for others such as helping them out and doing something that needs to be done. I also relate to Physical Touch as I love giving hugs and I crave them too. I also like holding hands and even sitting close by to someone and feeling their presence too.

Knowing your love language and your partner’s love language, according to the experts, can help make your relationship stronger because you know each other on a deeper level. Whenever I ask people about what they’re doing for Valentine’s, they also go ‘I’ll get a card and some chocolates or flowers’. Gifts can be very thoughtful and I don’t know anyone who’s ever said no to chocolates. But, why don’t you learn about your partners love language and celebrate Valentine’s doing something they’d appreciate more such as spending quality time with them, doing acts of service or building them up etc?

What is your love language and do you believe in them?

Love, your Valentine xo

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