Showing posts with label Flowers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Flowers. Show all posts

Girl reading The Sun and Her Flowers by Rupi Kaur

The last few months have not been easy. Being in lockdown has been a challenge for us all but for some of us, it has been an even bigger battle. One thing that came out of my recent therapy sessions is that I need to be kinder to myself. I need to learn how to be confident in myself and not see my weaknesses as completely detrimental. 

    Since then, I've been on a little journey of self-confidence in learning how to identify unhealthy behaviours and make them healthier. I think we all need to not just be kinder to ourselves, but learn how to  instead. We can be kinder to ourselves by treating ourselves to a bar of chocolate or a new Dior bag. However, that's only short term. By 'learning', we can create long term healthy habits. Here are four tips that can help boost self-confidence:


Be proud of what you’ve achieved- How often do you stop and reflect on what you’ve achieved? I can’t remember the last time I did that and that’s an issue. We continue to achieve every single day and that should be recognised. I don’t think about what I have overcome or really acknowledge all the amazing things I’ve done in the past three months. And they’re a pretty big deal. I just graduated with first class honours, woah! As humans, we tend to have the habit of chasing one thing after another, never really feeling fulfilled at what we’ve already done. When you have a moment, think about everything you have done in the past week, month or even year. The most important thing is that you can smile about it and think, I did that.


Don’t put too much pressure on yourself- Do you know what’s human? Making mistakes. No one is that perfect and if they are, they’re lying. In order to be kind to ourselves, we have to allow room for errors. We’re going to get things wrong from time to time and that’s how we learn and overcome it. By putting so much pressure on ourselves, we’re missing the opportunity to learn and grow from experiences. And Rome wasn’t built in a day. Things take time and they’ll take as long as they need to.


Rupi Kaur The Sun and Her Flowers


Accepting you don’t have complete control over everything that happens- Anxiety often stems from a lack of control. In situations where we’re not in control, we often feel anxious. I get waves of anxiety that tend to last a few weeks to a few months. I guess it never really goes away but I’ve learnt how best to manage it, if you will. One thing I always get told is to focus on what I can and am able to control. This can be quite difficult in some situations especially where we feel helpless. Take the coronavirus, we can’t control that or being in lockdown but we can control how we choose to act and use our time now that we’re at home more often than not. We can control some things and we can’t with others. Finding a balance is really helpful and focusing on what we can control.


Treat yourself- I’ll admit that use those two words a lot normally. I only realised the impact of not treating yourself when I starved myself of that. Pre-lockdown,  I’d treat myself by going shopping or buying artisan doughnuts (so so good). But since we went into lockdown and I was struggling with everything including really bad acne, I stopped. I stopped feeling worthy of myself and stopped being kind to myself. One way you can treat yourself Covid friendly is to buy flowers. Flowers can make all the difference by brightening up the space and making the room feel happier. My Nan said to buy flowers for someone when they’re sad and that’s a good lesson to remember. So, whether it’s your favourite doughnut, flowers or something pink (my happy colour), remember to treat yourself and do things that make you smile. 


Love, Aoife xo


I love Valentine’s Day probably more than I should as a single lady. I’m a hopeless romantic and Valentine’s day is all about showing your appreciation and love for someone. Any excuse to demonstrate this and to celebrate something, I’m always up for it. I love the story behind Valentine’s day too and how the priest wrote letters to the jailer’s daughter signing it ‘Love, your Valentine’. This year got me thinking about love languages, what they mean and what mine is.

In 1992, Gary Chapman wrote a book called The Five Love Languages: How To Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate. It outlines five ways in how people express and experience love between romantic partners. I, personally, think this works a little in how we express love and gratitude to family members and friends as well. It's how we interact with one another.

The five languages are (according to 5lovelanguages.com):
- Receiving Gifts: “A gift says, ‘he was thinking about me’"
- Quality Time: “Giving your spouse your undivided attention.”
- Words of Affirmation: “Using words to build up the other person.”
- Acts of Service: “Doing something for your spouse that you know they would like. Such as cooking a meal, washing dishes, vacuuming floors etc.”
- Physical Touch: “Holding hands, hugging, sexual intercourse, are all expressions of love.”

According to Chapman, we have a primary love language that speaks more deeply to us and a secondary love language. If you’re not sure what your love language is, there are plenty of quizzes and tests online you can take for free. But it's ultimately about which one you can relate to the most.


My primary love language is Acts of Service with my second language as Physical Touch. I think it’s important to demonstrate your love and gratitude through doing nice things for others such as helping them out and doing something that needs to be done. I also relate to Physical Touch as I love giving hugs and I crave them too. I also like holding hands and even sitting close by to someone and feeling their presence too.

Knowing your love language and your partner’s love language, according to the experts, can help make your relationship stronger because you know each other on a deeper level. Whenever I ask people about what they’re doing for Valentine’s, they also go ‘I’ll get a card and some chocolates or flowers’. Gifts can be very thoughtful and I don’t know anyone who’s ever said no to chocolates. But, why don’t you learn about your partners love language and celebrate Valentine’s doing something they’d appreciate more such as spending quality time with them, doing acts of service or building them up etc?

What is your love language and do you believe in them?

Love, your Valentine xo

The other day, yesterday to be exact, I visited Kew Gardens with my friend and flatmate Nazani. I had seen on Facebook a few months ago about an exhibition at Kew Gardens and it'd been on my list to visit ever since. It was a silly day to visit since it was pouring down with rain. Although, there was something beautiful and relaxing walking around a large, quiet park listening to the light raindrops hitting the umbrella and trees.

The exhibition, Life in Death by Rebecca Louise Law, showcases a collection of plants and flowers that have been dried for over six years. The flowers and plants are hanging like garlands from the ceiling. It sounds beautiful and it was! All the flowers were so delicate and preserved exactly how they were when they were alive.

Walking around the exhibit got me thinking about both life and death. Sometimes we can spend so much time thinking about when things are going to end that we forget to live in the present. Our surroundings morph into one, they become a blur of time we don't remember. I've lost count of how many times I've cried about the time I had left.

 It led me to think that if we spent our time appreciating every second and every moment, then we wouldn't be so upset when it was over. Instead, we'd smile at the memories and the time that was shared. The present is called a present for a reason. It has so many gifts that we should appreciate and not overlook because we're too blind to see it. There's beauty in life, in the little moments, and in everyone and everything. The exhibit shows how beautiful every living thing is and that there's life in death and it's been frozen in time to make us see it clearly.









Love, Aoife x