Showing posts with label Rupi Kaur. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Rupi Kaur. Show all posts

Girl reading The Sun and Her Flowers by Rupi Kaur

The last few months have not been easy. Being in lockdown has been a challenge for us all but for some of us, it has been an even bigger battle. One thing that came out of my recent therapy sessions is that I need to be kinder to myself. I need to learn how to be confident in myself and not see my weaknesses as completely detrimental. 

    Since then, I've been on a little journey of self-confidence in learning how to identify unhealthy behaviours and make them healthier. I think we all need to not just be kinder to ourselves, but learn how to  instead. We can be kinder to ourselves by treating ourselves to a bar of chocolate or a new Dior bag. However, that's only short term. By 'learning', we can create long term healthy habits. Here are four tips that can help boost self-confidence:


Be proud of what you’ve achieved- How often do you stop and reflect on what you’ve achieved? I can’t remember the last time I did that and that’s an issue. We continue to achieve every single day and that should be recognised. I don’t think about what I have overcome or really acknowledge all the amazing things I’ve done in the past three months. And they’re a pretty big deal. I just graduated with first class honours, woah! As humans, we tend to have the habit of chasing one thing after another, never really feeling fulfilled at what we’ve already done. When you have a moment, think about everything you have done in the past week, month or even year. The most important thing is that you can smile about it and think, I did that.


Don’t put too much pressure on yourself- Do you know what’s human? Making mistakes. No one is that perfect and if they are, they’re lying. In order to be kind to ourselves, we have to allow room for errors. We’re going to get things wrong from time to time and that’s how we learn and overcome it. By putting so much pressure on ourselves, we’re missing the opportunity to learn and grow from experiences. And Rome wasn’t built in a day. Things take time and they’ll take as long as they need to.


Rupi Kaur The Sun and Her Flowers


Accepting you don’t have complete control over everything that happens- Anxiety often stems from a lack of control. In situations where we’re not in control, we often feel anxious. I get waves of anxiety that tend to last a few weeks to a few months. I guess it never really goes away but I’ve learnt how best to manage it, if you will. One thing I always get told is to focus on what I can and am able to control. This can be quite difficult in some situations especially where we feel helpless. Take the coronavirus, we can’t control that or being in lockdown but we can control how we choose to act and use our time now that we’re at home more often than not. We can control some things and we can’t with others. Finding a balance is really helpful and focusing on what we can control.


Treat yourself- I’ll admit that use those two words a lot normally. I only realised the impact of not treating yourself when I starved myself of that. Pre-lockdown,  I’d treat myself by going shopping or buying artisan doughnuts (so so good). But since we went into lockdown and I was struggling with everything including really bad acne, I stopped. I stopped feeling worthy of myself and stopped being kind to myself. One way you can treat yourself Covid friendly is to buy flowers. Flowers can make all the difference by brightening up the space and making the room feel happier. My Nan said to buy flowers for someone when they’re sad and that’s a good lesson to remember. So, whether it’s your favourite doughnut, flowers or something pink (my happy colour), remember to treat yourself and do things that make you smile. 


Love, Aoife xo


Have you ever been afraid to read a book? No? I suppose no one ever gets scared of a book but when I bought milk and honey, I was afraid to go near it. Not because it was bad or I thought it was going to be rubbish, but because I knew -I got this feeling- that in front of me was a really powerful book. A book that could make me happy and tear me to shreds seconds later.


Milk + Honey is a collection of poems split into four sections; the loving, the breaking, the hurting and the healing. Kaur articulates every feeling, emotion and thought that I’ve ever felt and haven't yet felt. She made me feel happy, sad, vulnerable and strong. Through her poetry, Kaur is able to teach a way of life that we’ve become accustomed too. She points out how we (especially females) have been forced to accept things as a way of life.

After reading this book, I definitely felt as though I’d been schooled in life. I felt as though I’d been taught to understand I’m a vulnerable creature and there’s plenty of loss in life. But I was also taught to appreciate life and there’s beauty in vulnerability. It’s the vulnerability that makes us human and being human is a beautiful thing. She also taught me that love is a very passionate emotion and we should be able to experience that and give everything to it.

Milk + Honey is definitely a book I would recommend. And I think everyone should read it at least once in their life. It’s the type of book that gets you thinking and tapping into/ confronting emotions that you’re used to hiding away. It’s the type of book that shows beauty in life, through the loving, breaking, hurting and healing. It’s a book that encourages hope and makes you look at the person you are and want to be. She writes about being whole as a person before you can give yourself to others. Kaur touches on the pressures of society and what is right for the mind and body. 



Milk + Honey has to be one the best books I’ve ever read. She changes the game on poetry and it made me fall in love with the written musical language. There’s so much emotion rooted deep down in the pit of your stomach that rises up into your heart (if you read it properly). If you’re debating what to read next, or you keep putting off buying the book. Buy it now! Because it’s the game changer you need in your life.

Love, Aoife x

P.S- I'm going to read her new book the sun and her flowers next. I'll let you know how it goes.