5 ways to practice self care based on your love language

13 February 2022

Image of white roses in front of a Vogue magazine cover

We’ve all read the Glamour, Marie Claire, Vogue, and Refinery29 articles on the best products for self care and top tips on how to love yourself. I’ve read them all and to be honest, the older I get, the more some of feel like they're all just repeating each other. There are so many different ways and opinions on how someone can practice self care. So, with that, what does self care mean to you, and how do you know which works best for you?

A couple of years ago, I was really fascinated by love languages and looked into what mine were. I took a quiz and found my primary love language is acts of service and my second is physical touch. This year, another year of being gloriously single, got me thinking about ways we can practice self love based on our love language. After all, what better way to practice self care when it's perfectly suited to our love language...

Ways to practice self care based on your love language

One // Acts of Service | I LOVE to cook and I love those occasions when you have a relaxing evening and can take your time with making a delicious meal. The other night, I decided to make homemade pasta, with homemade pesto and lightly fried tender stem broccoli with warm ciabatta and olive oil on the side. I shared it over on my Instagram (@aoifecaitrionaxo) and it was a heavenly meal, made even better knowing I had taken the time to make it.

Two // Receiving Gifts | Regardless of whether you have someone there to give you a gift or not, buy yourself something. That thing you’ve been eyeing up for a while? It’s Valentine’s Day, you deserve it. Treat yourself to some flowers or sexy lingerie or a new bag, or even a sauté pan. Trust me, it doesn’t even have to be what mainstream considers “sexy”, a Le Creuset cast iron casserole dish has my heart pounding. You can tell I really like cooking!

Image of a rose and a bra with lace detailing

Three // Quality Time | Apple has either upgraded it’s do not disturb feature or I have been blind to the settings on my phone, but you can now customise the names of do not disturb. Why not create another setting dedicated to 'Me time', 'Mindfulness' or 'Alone time'. This Valentine’s, why not spend some quality time for yourself. You could run a bath, read a book, or watch that series or film that’s been on your list for ages but you’ve never had the time to sit down.

Four // Physical touch | If physical touch is your love language, how can you express and receive it without someone else? There is the obvious sexual touch that can release endorphins (feel-good) hormones. But —and partly linked— is the feel element to touch. How does your skin feel? I love a full-on a 'detox' shower. Mine consists of a hair mask, shaving and exfoliating until my skin is super smooth. Then applying a body oil or moisturiser with a heavenly scent; all to get me feeling sexier.

Five // Words of affirmation | This usually requires a third party to help build you up. If that’s not an option, why not create your own affirmations. I used them a lot at university to help motivate me and get keep me going when I was having skin issues. I'd have notes stuck around my mirror and above my desk. You can journal them too, which is a great way to express your feelings and thought processes. Alternatively, there’s a podcast (Affirmation Babe, Habits of a Goddess- there are tons!) that whisper affirmations in your ear. Stand in front of your mirror and repeat after me: I am beautiful. I am smart. I am sexy. I attract what I desire.

Love, Aoife